Advice dating question relationship smarter
Fortunately, of course, there are also men and women who do fit the pattern discovered in the research.
I have seen and known many men who are close to, romantically attracted to, and in long-term, successful marriages with women who outperform them—and whom they also consider smarter than themselves. After a lot of dates, a few duds, and a period of unsuccessful meet-ups, she met and fell in love with a man who admires and is attracted to her as a whole package—intelligence and all.
Being a woman who is too pretty or too smart has advantages when it comes to small gains (free drinks, better treatment, etc) but major disadvantages when it comes to finding long term partners and maintaining friendships.
In that respect it is actually good riddance that men who are not confident enough to go for the really great women, focus on average women.
In this study, men who believed themselves to have been to be attracted by women who they think are smarter or more competent at intellectual tasks than they are, but only if the women are at a psychological and physical distance from them.
They were then asked to rate the woman both in terms of warmth and friendliness, and in terms of how desirable they would find her as a long-term romantic partner.
Whether the subject was math or English, the men rated the woman who outperformed them as a long-term romantic partner.
While we may admire a superior woman from afar we are unlikely to pursue a woman who we think is "to good" for us.
This is the same reason the prettiest girl is not always the one who gets approached or asked on a date. I have always said that average or less than average women are the most sought after women in the world!
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Everything went smoothly—until they met in person for a cup of coffee.